Sad day

Well, today AF started so no pregnancy this month. I am sad and disappointed but realize its only my first try and wont be my last. However, hubby and I are going to put it off for a few months to save money and get his business going. Even though I am frustrated with that. I know its for the best.

TWW ( two week wait)

Well, its getting down to the finish of the TWW and I am nervous as can be. We inseminated on Nov 12/13 which was a little bit strange. Nothing like trying to be romantic with the husband and he goes and get the vial of sperm and squirts it into me. Don't get me wrong I am glad we have this option but still.

So, now it on to the dreaded two week wait....
I also stopped drinking coffee that week...what am I thinking I should have done that before..
My first week I experience headaches and exhaustion ( could be coffee withdrawal)
This second week the headache finally went away and my lower back has been hurting since ( don't know if this is a good sign)

Others signs I had a little bit of dizziness, lightheadness and vivid dreams. However, I wake up with the sense that I am not pregnant.

I took a test today which I think ended up being early and showed a negative.

I checked my calendar and my last two cycles have been 30-32 days and I am only on day 24 so maybe its not ready to show anything. I am going to wait now to see if I actually miss my period.

As of right now, my stomach been bothering me today and I am tired. I could go to sleep right now but its only 6pm.

My wait will be over in a week and I am scared. Scared that I wont be, Scared that I will be and scared that I never will be..

But in the mean time...

I miss coffee!

Frustrations and Excitement

I am writing this post our of frustration and excitement. I am frustrated in regards to this areas attitude toward the donor company we have chosen to work with and at home insems in general. I called my OBGYN to see if I could get a CMV test done. I spoke to the nurse who then spoke to the doctor. She called me back and was very negative about the whole idea of it. She told me that my doctor refuses to do the test because he is not familiar with the company that I have chosen and without even researching it has decided it was not a safe place for me to use and that my only option is with the Sperm bank that he works with. I explain to her that I have done careful research and has found nothing negative about the company and that I have even checked out state certifications. She didnt seem to care and went on about how unsafe at home insemination is. I then checked with the other medical facility in the area. I called and got ahold of a patient assistant who I explain that I wanted to work with this particular sperm bank and she told me that that should be no problem but she wanted me to speak to the nurse practicioner and that they had to call me back. I waited and received a voicemail awhile later with the same woman that the nurse practicioner would not be calling me because they don't do that sort of thing and I heard nothing more. I felt like crying because here my husband was pushing me to get the CMV test and I couldn't get someone to do it. Since, I don't need doctor approval to do I have decided to go ahead and get only negative sperm and basically screw them.
So, the excitement part is that we went ahead and ordered the sperm and it should arrive today. This is my first time and very nervous in getting the timing right. Currently, my plan is that I am taking the OPK test everyday and when I get my positive we will inseminate 12 hrs later and then 24 hrs later. I just hope this works because my poor husband wont have the patience for us to keep trying and trying. Wish me luck!

On a side note: As I write this post the sperm arrived I guess its going to happen :)